The Universe Channel

I put off calling the cable company about my shoddy tiling/freezing/blackout/no hockey cable for nigh on a month because I thought that it would be difficult trying to get free time during business hours, and because I knew that once someone came out to fix it, it would of course magically work.

But, after three straight days of getting no channels at all but BBC America (admittedly, could have been worse), I called them and I--(no I didn't. I "chatted" with their live chat help. I hate calling people)--and they walked me through re-setting my beeswax and sending digital test signals, all to no avail. So, we scheduled an appointment for this afternoon.

Before I left for work, I tried, and still nothing, so seeing as it was firmly Day 4 of no Today Show, I was confident the repair guy'd have something to do.

I get home from work at 2 for my window of service help time...and turn on the T.V., and there's Ellen...dancing in all her nonblacked-out/nontiled/nonfrozen glory.

Two minutes later the cable guy showed up. And I felt like Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters...looking into my fridge with Venkman right there going: "I saw it, it was here...there was a creature and it said Zuul...and the eggs were cooking..."

He was cool and went through the motions of checking the connections and stuff even though Ellen was still dancing like a fool on screen.

Then I went about my night, had dinner, came home...turned on the Caps postgame show which was completely unwatchable thanks to the cable gnomes who came in while I was gone and returned everything back to its fucked-up status.

The natural order.